#ASP @ Undernet

Photo

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 00:33:43 -0500

New FREE services for #asp members

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:30:00 -0500

Starting today #asp users have the following FREE services available:

1. member@aspchan.net email address with up to 7GB of space.

2. Online documents storage.

3. Online calendar.

4. Online address book.

5. Jabber instant messaging for member@aspchan.net.

6. Mobile phone gateway for mail, calendar and address book.

7. Web pages.

These services are driven by Google Apps for Domains and are available at no cost to 50 users. Ask VP|bofh for details.

Happy Birthday Myles!

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:31:03 -0500

Happy Birthday Myles!

I’m pretty sure this is how Subnet felt after the...

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:43:55 -0500

I’m pretty sure this is how Subnet felt after the game…

It’s funny because it’s true…

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 23:06:14 -0500

It’s funny because it’s true…

Nip/Tuck for Dummies

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:58:23 -0500

Two plastic surgeons know each other since college, asshole fucks dickhead’s wife and knocks her up, dickhead raises the kid thinking it is his. He has a normal second child, the third child has lobster hands syndrome. Kid #1 learns the truth after he is 18 and has mommy issues so he fucks famke jensen, who is a post op tranny. asshole has an on off relationship with a pornstar, and their anesthesiologist is a lesbian that marries asshole when he thinks he is dying of cancer. His labs were mixed so as soon as he was in the clear he divorced her on the spot.

Kid #1 is a piece of shit, he marries the porn star, does a lot of meth, goes to jail, lots of rape, kills the guy that rapes him, leaves in exchange for dickhead and asshole giving a death row immate a tummy tuck so he is skinny enough to be executed.

The reason kid #1 was in jail? He was a mime robber. He would dress up like a mime (he was going to college to learn how to be a mime) and he would rob stores with a fake gun. Seriously.

Both Dickhead and Asshole keep marrying and divorcing, Dickhead’s last wife was Rose McGowan, who ended up being a black widow serial killer type that ended up getting killed BY A SERIAL KILLER as she was trying to kill Dickhead and two out of his three kids.

Dickhead’s first wife, the one that had the kid with Asshole, was a lesbian for a while. The porn star fell off a boat and is presumed dead, her mom is Melanie Griffith and yes, Asshole sleeps with her as a way to grief.

This is just scratching the surface.

Talk to the hand.

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:45:04 -0500

Talk to the hand.

Today is Coolgui’s birthday!

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 11:29:13 -0500

Today is Coolgui’s birthday!

Give him a banana

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:14:14 -0500

CoolGui: they are giving a canadian a gold now
VP|bofh: they are peeing on him?
Crusher_: snowboarding?
CoolGui: I don't know
CoolGui: they are inside
VP|bofh: oh, I read that as they are giving a canadian a gold shower (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urolagnia)
@Subnet: sounds about right we rock at the important events
Crusher_: ah, curling
CoolGui: I think it's the only one they won, they are just presenting it now
CoolGui: men's moguls
VP|bofh: give him a banana (http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/1314/)
@Subnet: we got the gold at freestyle already
CoolGui: he's a frenchy
VP|bofh: that should counter the effects of the pee
Crusher_: oh, yeah, that was yesterday

Photo

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 15:20:30 -0500

Today is Alec Eso’s birthday!

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:21:03 -0500

Today is Alec Eso’s birthday!

This is for @Pytte, for services rendered.

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:36:06 -0500

This is for @Pytte, for services rendered.

Undernet failure action plan

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:23:56 -0500

For those of you that haven’t noticed, Undernet is collapsing once again. If #asp is suddenly found without a home, this website is to be considered the main means for news distribution as we find a new location. Please make sure that you are subscribed to our rss feed. You can of course reach out to one of the ops, but whatever is going on will be documented here first.

As of today we are looking at networks with idle/abandoned #asp channels. So far I have tried QuakeNet, which actually works fine and even has a working web client.

Virus Protection v. Birth Control

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:12:27 -0400

<|anshark> so what else is going on

a host got reinfected

repeat offender, this time he is losing autorun
* You are now known as VP|bofh
* Crusher|work (~nothing@h96-61-44-86.mdtnwi.dsl.dynamic.tds.net) has joined #asp
* X sets channel limit to 19
Crusher|work: do y'all run virus protection there?
* Crusher- has quit (Ping timeout)
"i can't tell if i drink because she bitches or if she bitches because i drink"
He told me earlier he never ran antivirus because they didn't infect him
But I'm not sure if that applies to his work computer.... heh
that's sound logic
why use a condom if you have never gotten a girl pregnant before?
well in his defense, I am paraphrasing

Happy Birthday to @Subnet. He is Canadian, which means he...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:54:25 -0400

Happy Birthday to @Subnet. He is Canadian, which means he doesn’t really age and there is no reason to send him gifts for his birthday.

That is, unless you can find him a pair of red leather pants. If you have to ask then you don’t need to know.

If the lawsuit is wrong, we don't want to be right

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 05:02:49 -0400

[08:26] carlsb3rg: can I use ms access with php?
[08:26] +tlf: Sure, why not?
[08:27] carlsb3rg: wasn't there some kind of lawsuit?
[08:27] +benkillin: wtf
[08:27] +benkillin: YOU FUCKING
[08:27] +benkillin: YOU ARE A
[08:27] +benkillin: OMG
[08:27] +benkillin: A
[08:27] +benkillin: TROLL
[08:27] +benkillin: !~@(&*$(&@TRKJFDFKLJH
[08:27] +tlf: huh?
[08:28] carlsb3rg: :)

The Microsoft Lawsuit claims a victim

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:07:51 -0400

benkillin [b3nk@pinky.ratman.org] entered the room. (9:49:14 PM)
benkillin: hi
benkillin: you know what
benkillin: you told me a long time ago some things couldnt be done with asp and MS access because of some sort of lawsuit
benkillin: and I actually told that it couldn't be done in a meeting for work because I was making a web app for them
benkillin: and I got fired
benkillin: so fuck you guys
benkillin left the room (+++ OK ATH OK). (9:51:40 PM)

What is #asp?

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:27:30 -0400

#asp stands for Active Server Pages, but only in the Undernet IRC network. In other places it means Alt.Sex.Passwords. If you are looking for porn passwords, please make sure that your IRC client is NOT connecting to Undernet, it can be embarrassing.

The original purpose of #asp was to allow ASP programmers (what is now known as “classic” ASP) to hang out, compare notes (read “pick each others brains apart”) and to help n00bs learn the idiosyncrasies of the platform. The administration of the channel has varied little in close to 10 years, with no more than two channel owner changes, new ops added more or less once a year and almost no ops being removed from the rolls. I am the current channel owner (with nicks VP|bofh, VP|mbp or other variations of VP|something) and there are about a dozen regular operators and some 20 regulars that have been around for 5 or more years.

When it was obvious that classic ASP was on its way out and ASP.net was gaining strength, we decided to let it ride and see if #asp.net would take off. It didn’t, which means that most people that are looking for ASP.net help will end up in #asp instead. Most of the regulars at #asp have by now switched to open source platforms, or are doing ASP.net so, if asked the right way, an ASP.net programmer may be able to get an answer.

The basic problem is that legitimate programming traffic amounts to maybe 5% of the local transient traffic in the channel. Most of the people either come here asking for porn passwords, or trolling for whatever the hell.

Pls unban WEETO

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:21:23 -0400

Background:

some guy called “Weeto” got kickbanned, so he sent his friend “Caramello” to threaten us into lifting the ban. Coarse language advisory, reead at your own risk!

–> caramello (~kablo.bro@62.114.185.124) has joined #asp
caramello: Hello there
caramello: LOL @ the topic
caramello: tough world.
caramello: ah well, i guess it comes with the name “asp” huh?
caramello: anyway,
caramello: who here is an active op ?
caramello: hello0
caramello: anyone here?
LlmaHerdr: Speak!
caramello: i need VP-bofh
caramello: i need to speak with VP-bofh or a superior op.
LlmaHerdr: Then why did you ask for “an active op”?
caramello: because:
caramello: i need to speak with VP-bofh or a superior op.
caramello: I would like him or the other to unban Weeto,
caramello: since he does need to be here, and he hasn’t offended anyone here.
caramello: can you help/
caramello: ?
LlmaHerdr: Apparently I’m not superior enough.
–> creativex (~creative@creativx.users.undernet.org) has joined #asp
creativex: plz halp
* LlmaHerdr halps creativex.
creativex: why doesnt the stupid xmlhttp obj return my localized chars.. like ?Ü?ò?Ö
creativex: it just gives me ???
creativex: and im like.. PLZ HALP
creativex: oh
creativex: i got it. stupid crap
LlmaHerdr: caramello, if you know weeto’s host name I can unban him. Dunno why you’re so insistent on VP doing it though.
–> Flipper (~me@flipper.users.undernet.org) has joined #asp
VP-bofh: fuck weeto and fuck caramello
caramello: LlmaHerdr: thank you.
caramello: unfortunately weeto left .
LlmaHerdr: Alright, the Superior Op has spoken.
caramello: i do not understand why this weirdo is so hostile?
caramello: what is the meaning of this? :
caramello: fuck weeto and fuck caramello
caramello: it means that you got a bad op on your channel
caramello: and he doesn’t deserve the op-ship
caramello: people come here to learn and to seek help in writing code.
dev_null: when that “bad op” is the channel owner your case is moot
caramello: people shouldn’t get banned if they say a piece of software wasn’t good for them.
caramello: dev_null: not really.
carlsb3rg: why not?
caramello: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #asp,
LlmaHerdr: Notepad.exe wasnt’ good for me!
VP-bofh: let me explain something to you
caramello: then we contact the network cops and have him removed.
caramello: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #asp,
caramello: then we contact the network cops and have him removed.
caramello: and take his channel over legally.
carlsb3rg: haha
VP-bofh: I bet the ircops will love it when they see your flooding
caramello: this is not flooding.
* dev_null waves goodby to caramello
caramello: i’m “talking” to the people here.
caramello: it’s been done before.
VP-bofh: you sir are flooding
VP-bofh: now please leave, this is my first friendly request
caramello: and you are faring out your finger nails.
caramello: you better watch it.
caramello: i’m leaving.
carlsb3rg: you’re whining…flooding…being a total shithead…get lost
caramello: thank you again LlmaHerdr
<– caramello (~kablo.bro@62.114.185.124) has left #asp
dev_null: what a whiner
VP-bofh: cocksucker
* LlmaHerdr wields his Golden Crook of Llamaherding (+4 Llama Superiority, +3 Agility)!
VP-bofh: “we are contacting the network cops and have him removed”
— LlmaHerdr sets ban on caramello!*kablo.bro@62.114.185.124
LlmaHerdr: bwahahahaha!
dev_null: hahah
VP-bofh: “and take this channel over legally”
VP-bofh: hey
carlsb3rg: hahaha
VP-bofh: shut the fuck up
* creativex bites VP-bofh’s nipple
–> `micetrow (~maestro@maestro.users.undernet.org) has joined #asp
VP-bofh: or qw’ll talk to the network cops
VP-bofh: and take this channel over legally
creativex: hey what the fuck my mouse pointer stopped
creativex: was it because i bit?
— LlmaHerdr is now known as NetwrkCop
VP-bofh: nibbling = good, biting = bad
dev_null: i bet he/she had you quaking in your boots
VP-bofh: that’s ok
VP-bofh: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #rideme
VP-bofh: then we contact the network cops and have him removed.
creativex: im gonna register #1!11111111111111100%asp
VP-bofh: and take this channel over legally
dev_null: when that bad op is the channel owner, and he’s hogging some generic name like #suckcock
VP-bofh: heh, I am a bad op
dev_null: hence the bofh in your name
VP-bofh: i need to speak with VP-bofh or a superior op.
NetwrkCop: lol
VP-bofh: dev, that’s too obvious
NetwrkCop: Okay people, let’s settle down here.
— You are now known as VP|nice
NetwrkCop: Or I’m going to have to use my stick.
VP|nice: fuck this shit
dev_null: use it on me, use it on me
— You are now known as VP-bofh
carlsb3rg: VP-bofh: U iz da cr00k m4n, Im g0ing to #cs3rvice and t4king dis ch4nnal from U!!!!!
VP-bofh: heh
* NetwrkCop wields his big flashlight (+4 vs. caramello)
VP-bofh: ask for CK-2 for supporting votes
carlsb3rg: NetwrkCop: have your joined her channel?
VP-bofh: the hottest girl in the office catches you doing the go-go dance from Hey Ya, -25 points
carlsb3rg: try to spoof some whining off her
VP-bofh: she sha sha sha sha sha shakes it like a polaroid picture, +50 points
creativex: wanahha i fixed the mouse
creativex: vp, the last time i was here you were giving out points to yourself too
creativex: well, giving or taking
NetwrkCop: One of these days we’re going to have someone come in here asking for help to fix a sex passwords website written in ASP.
carlsb3rg: haha
— NetwrkCop is now known as LlmaHerdr
* dev_null will fix porn password pages for free access
VP-bofh: what’s cooler than being cool?
VP-bofh: ICE COLD
VP-bofh: awright awright awright awright awright awright awright awright
LlmaHerdr: Heyyyyyyyyyyy yaaaaaaah
carlsb3rg: r u tha superiah op on ths chanal, VP-bofh?!?!?!! I need to get unbanm y friend weeto!!!
carlsb3rg: hes always nice so u donnot have the rights to ban him!!!!
carlsb3rg: .ro .ro .ro
LlmaHerdr: lol
LlmaHerdr: MY FIRNED PPLS HA:P 4 2 UNBANJ MY FRIEND WEETOS PLZ?
carlsb3rg: hahaha
–> aldente` (~ad@62.240.111.115) has joined #asp
<– aldente` (~ad@62.240.111.115) has left #asp
dev_null: please unban my ass partner and lifemate because the stress of not being able to whine in #asp is imapcting his ability to ram his cock into my ass effectivly
carlsb3rg: haha
carlsb3rg: lol
LlmaHerdr: omg lmao
–> ^maestro (~maestro@129sdl30m51.codetel.net.do) has joined #asp
carlsb3rg: ^maestro: do ya now my freind weeto=?!!?!?!?!
carlsb3rg: HE IS BAND FROM #ASP, PLZ HALP!!!!
carlsb3rg: does anyone actually discuss asp here any more?
creativex: i tried to
creativex: but sorta gave up
LlmaHerdr: What r asp???
carlsb3rg: haha
creativex: anal sex positions
LlmaHerdr: oh
<– `micetrow has quit (Ping timeout)
— ^maestro is now known as `micetrow
–> txhotblkm (txhotblklo@ACA9C08A.ipt.aol.com) has joined #asp
<– txhotblkm (txhotblklo@ACA9C08A.ipt.aol.com) has left #asp
LlmaHerdr: hmm
LlmaHerdr: txhotblkm…wonder what he’s looking for
carlsb3rg: hot lesbo action most probably
creativex: or anal glue

A new home (again)

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:35:32 -0400

Thanks to general assholery on the part of some bored teenagers somewhere in Kuwait, I have no choice but to minimize my commitment to Wordpress. This means that this blog in particular is no longer running Wordpress in a Cpanel hosting environment, instead it is hosted in Tumblr.

The wiki is unharmed.

Let’s see how long this lasts …