#ASP @ Undernet

Oh no... it's the new Jenkem!

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 02:48:00 -0400

Oh no... it's the new Jenkem!:

Just when you think the country folk couldn’t get any more stupid…

Close Talker : Savage Chickens – Cartoons on Sticky Notes...

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:58:23 -0400

Close Talker : Savage Chickens – Cartoons on Sticky Notes by Doug Savage

Happy Canada Day to our resident commies.

Undernet instability

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 22:10:53 -0400

Reminder: If you run into trouble trying to connect to Undernet, try to join #asp on Quakenet, there is at least one of us in there 24/7. We can help you find an alternate Undernet server to connect to.

ISO: Web developer, DC region (no, this is not a repeat)

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:12:49 -0400

ISO: Web developer, DC region (no, this is not a repeat)

My employer, who runs the most kickass, greatest little web shop in the DC Metro area, is now looking for one more programmer to add to our band of misfits. This is a permanent, full-time (not contract) position.

What we want:

1. A “programmer” that groks programming, not somebody that is proficient in one language and can’t deal with anything else.

2. Our weapon of choice is ASP.net, it is not a requirement for hire, but you must learn it in a reasonable time. Our last hire walked in with solid programming experience and literally zero knowledge of .net, and he had no trouble whatsoever picking it up (it was actually a bit scary how fast he learned it).

3. We are all proficient in SQL, not specialized in one given flavor. We want people that understand SQL well enough to switch between products with minor adjustments. The idea here is that a programmer needs to understand relational databases, and he/she must really understand ANSI SQL as a language.

4. Troubleshooting skills are critical, there is no way around this. If you can’t troubleshoot, we don’t want you.

5. Communication skills are critical. Our programmers deal with customers directly, and can’t afford to fall back on the project manager. We ride the phones a lot, it is a reality of life for our line of business. If you are the kind that doesn’t like to talk on the phone or that can’t write coherent emails, please don’t bother.

6. 99% of the programming that we do requires a high degree of autonomy with very little supervision. Our ideal programmer understands how to fill-in the blanks from general guidelines. If you need every deliverable broken into 20 bullet points stating every little thing, this is not the kind of job for you.

7. We are BUSY and we frown on clock punchers. Our boss has a really simple way to deal with grumpy overworked programmers: he throws money at us until we shut up. Expect to work like hell and be rewarded handsomely for it. To offset this, we have a really kickass flex schedule.

8. We are process-oriented to a fault, which is one of the reasons why we are so popular with our customers.

9. We pride ourselves in our ability to overcome any technical hurdle. Our customers keep coming back to us because instead of saying that something cannot be done, we are ready and able to offer them multiple alternative approaches.

What you get:

1. Challenging work. We will give you migraines from the puzzles that you have to deal with.

2. We are busy in the middle of a recession. While others don’t know where the next project is coming from, we are always wondering how we are going to fit one more project.

3. We have a very tight technical team, and our management speaks geek. The good news is this means that management usually understands whatever technical approach you are trying to pitch. The bad news is that it is almost impossible to get away with a bluff on technical merits.

4. Very competitive compensation, including quarterly bonuses paid based on billable work (the more you bill, the bigger the bonus), not on performance appraisals that are adjusted against a Bell curve behind your back.

5. The usual health, etc. that everyone else gets.

6. 100% telecommuting. Right now we are scattered over the mid Atlantic states. We have had employees on both coasts, basically it all depends on your specific workload. The company provides laptop, VoIP phone, company card, etc.

7. Flexible scheduling. Again, this depends on specific workload.

If you are interested, please send me your resume and cover letter and we’ll take it from there. Principals only, please.

Thanks (I guess) to @morgajel for showing me this one.

Mon, 31 May 2010 22:53:14 -0400

Thanks (I guess) to @morgajel for showing me this one.

then you are not doing bad my...

Tue, 18 May 2010 15:08:56 -0400

then you are not doing bad

my problem is I have a gut

skinny legs and arms, and a gut, I don’t even have love handles

Kilometrico (~do@bb116-15-184-184.singnet.com.sg) has joined #asp

Kilometrico (~do@bb116-15-184-184.singnet.com.sg) has left #asp

lanshark has quit (Ping timeout)

VP|bofh: obviously we’re both drinking too much beer

right

I don’t touch alcohol

… that was the joke

neither do I

This is dedicated to all our friends and peers that are riding...

Tue, 11 May 2010 15:03:12 -0400

This is dedicated to all our friends and peers that are riding the phones today, most of them against their will.

Why you might want to mark Amazon wish lists as private

Tue, 11 May 2010 13:59:00 -0400

Talk about fueling the already combustible defect-targeting humor on the channel. Way to go, K_F! (click image for the complete list)

I would like to dedicate awesome puppy to myself, for what I...

Fri, 07 May 2010 11:58:22 -0400

I would like to dedicate awesome puppy to myself, for what I just made SVN do. Oh yeah.

Photo

Sun, 25 Apr 2010 02:58:50 -0400

Chatroulette

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:06:25 -0400

Posting this was a lot harder that it should it be.

Today is Pytte’s birthday. DO NOT click on his links....

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:10:44 -0400

Today is Pytte’s birthday. DO NOT click on his links. Ever.

Just saying …

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 22:55:34 -0400

Just saying …

LOL WHUT?

Thu, 08 Apr 2010 00:09:30 -0400

LOL WHUT?

ISO: Web developer, DC region

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 20:41:08 -0400

I have a lead for a .net/C#/MySQL programming consulting opportunity in the DC area. If you are interested or know somebody that is interested please ask me in the channel or email me.

This photo has absolutely NOTHING to do with either of unEZ or...

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 23:04:48 -0400

This photo has absolutely NOTHING to do with either of unEZ or Landshark’s recent disappearances. No sir, I’m just going to leave this here just for the hell of it.

/me walks away casually

WRAP IT UP(DAVE CHAPPELLE) (via jokare456) We need one of these...

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 00:37:23 -0400

WRAP IT UP(DAVE CHAPPELLE) (via jokare456)

We need one of these for our conference calls.

Yes, it’s true.

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 11:40:43 -0400

Yes, it’s true.

I wonder, what would happen if we start posting this kind of...

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 22:55:20 -0400

I wonder, what would happen if we start posting this kind of page for HTTP 500 errors in our production apps?

This week couldn’t end any quicker.

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:22:24 -0400

This week couldn’t end any quicker.